George Carlin > Quotes > Quotable Quote - Goodreads Couldnt you just skip the praying part and go right to His Will? When youre born in America, you get a front row seat. George Carlin, 48. url = "https://s.gr-assets.com/assets/mobile/phone_hd_images-2b89833762f600506d44865a33582d11.css"; Actually, I think that class was called Religion. Quote by George Carlin: "Political correctness is fascism pretending to window.csa("Events")("setEntity", { We hope these George Carlin quotes on life, religion and government will make you smile as well as share some important facts with you. What George Carlin Believed About Religion If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? //]]> My mind doesnt work that way, I got this real moron thing I do, its called thinking and Im not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions I have certain rules I live by. They'll get it all from you sooner or later 'cause they own this f**kin' place. Source; . All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another. George Carlin, 69. Im not sure thats the way to fight discrimination. Right in the f--in head! Dont sweat the petty things and dont pet the sweaty things. George Carlin, 19. Being considered as one of the top comedians of all time, George is well known for his black humor, political views, observations on language, psychology, and religion along with many other And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. node.parentNode.insertBefore(gads, node); If its true that our species is alone in the universe, then Id have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little. George Carlin, 37. Theres only the immediate future and the recent past.George Carlin, Regarding the fitness craze: America has lost its soul; now its trying to save its body. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, If you cant beat them, arrange to have them beaten.George Carlin, Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesnt mean the circus has left town.George Carlin, And although I broke a lot of laws as a teenager, I straightened out immediately upon turning eighteen, when I realized the state had a legal right to execute me. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. George Carlin Quotes (Author of Brain Droppings) - Goodreads try { George Carlin's full name was George Denis Patrick Carlin. if (window.Mobvious === undefined) { Whether you agree with him or not, George Carlins views on government are definitely worth considering. I love individuals. Dont just teach your children to read Teach them to question what they read. You caused the problem; you voted them in; you have no right to complain. George Carlin, 70. Its a great feeling. Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that. The upper class: keeps all of the money, pays none of the taxes. The politicians are put there to give you the idea you have freedom of choice. Your cat thinks the dog's an asshole. We have multiplied our possessions but reduced our values. Everyone smiles in the same language. George Carlin, 35. But there is an I in independence, individuality, and integrity. Died: June 22, 2008 (aged 71) George Carlin Quotes . The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. George Carlin, 46. //]]> gads.src = (useSSL ? })(); George Denis Patrick Carlin was born May 12, 1937, in the Bronx, New York. He loves you and he needs money. It presents itself as fairness, yet attempts to restrict and control peoples language with strict codes and rigid rules. George Carlin, 60. I hate a group of people with a common purpose. One of comedian George Carlin's more notable quotes, pointing out a reality of American life is, "It's a big club, and you ain't in it." His words are a simple commentary on the ruling. You have no choice. They own, and control the corporations. The people are fucked! George Carlin, 80. George Carlin Quotes Government. QuotesGram Pointing out the things which are influencing our society badly with humor is not an easy task to do. Its so fuckin heroic.George Carlin, The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.George Carlin, If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?George Carlin, I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? If you can find a solution to homelessness where the corporations and politicians can make a few million dollars each, you will see the streets of America begin to clear up pretty damn quick! George Carlin, 67. Because he was a genius, and here are 11 quotes that prove it: 1. function getCookieWithoutJQuery(name) { The table is tilted, folks. My advice: just keep moving straight ahead. var ue_id = "RW7VD4AVX1H9239WWVVN"; 2. apstag.init({ Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. As for the poor, they tell us theyve lost all incentive because weve given them too much money. George Carlin, 74. a[a9]._Q.push([c, r]) I think the life cycle is all backwards. In this blog post, weve compiled some of his most compelling quotes on the subject for you to consider as well! I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. Theres a humorous side to every situation. And when you suspend your individual beauty you also give up a lot of your humanity. George Carlin Quotes - Facebook The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions. George Carlin, 87. Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear themusic. The only person who is with us our entire life is ourselves. The planet is fine. George Carlin. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. George Carlin, 49. var cookiePair = cookie.split('='); I enjoy describing how things are, I have no interest in how they ought to be. And I certainly have no interest in fixing them. They want obedient workers, people who are just smart enough to run the machines and do the paperwork. Enjoy! You have owners. We think in language. Did you ever stop to thnk about all the people we kill? Im talking about the real owners now the real owners. I think every day all children should have 3 hours of daydreaming. Men are often so foolish as to boast and value themselves upon their passions, even those that are most vicious. var sourcesToHideBuyFeatures = ["ebfg_gr", "ebfg_fb", "ebfg_fbm", "ebfg_tw", Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck. gads.type = "text/javascript"; His jokes were certainly aimed to provoke others but the hows and whys of it made him so exceptional. Never argue with an idiot. Just because you got the monkey off your back, doesnt mean the circus has left town. Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. The less said about it the better. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, Catholic, which I was until I reached the age of reasonGeorge Carlin, They say that instead of cursing the darkness, one should light a candle. (function () { //]]>. This is what we have to offer. May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. _Q: [] You know how I define the economic and social classes in this country? You have owners. Hope these quotes will give you a different perspective on government and how it works. Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body. 4. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.George Carlin,When Will Jesus Bring The Pork Chops? And, let me tell you, theres nothin like it. 87 Best George Carlin Quotes On Education, Politics & Life Best George Carlin quotes on life, religion and politics To me, authority is something that a freer spirit, a more independent mind, and a person who can handle the world, doesnt need guidance from. George Carlin, 61. //21 George Carlin Quotes On Government And Politics I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, There is no I in team. What you should tell them is, Maybe not. The people are fucked. George Carlin, May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. George Carlin, Some people have no idea what theyre doing, and a lot of them are really good at it. George Carlin, Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. George Carlin, We have multiplied our possessions but reduced our values. Showing 1-30 of 421 "The reason I talk to myself is because I'm the only one whose answers I accept." George Carlin tags: humor , insanity , lies , lying , self-indulgence , truth 19588 likes Like "The planet is fine. We cut education, in 50 years, well be so stack with idiots with shitty jobs that we wont have enough money to pay for defense! George Carlin, 85. - George Carlin profile quotes. Right in the fucking head! One can never know for sure what a deserted area can look like. My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me. George Carlin Quotes - BrainyQuote George Carlin function isShowingBuyableFeatures() { "CacheDetection.RequestID": "RW7VD4AVX1H9239WWVVN", They own all the important land. In this blog post, well take a look at some of Carlins most famous quotes on government. The planet is fine. "Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it." ~ (George Carlin). "Men are from Earth,. Top 10 George Carlin Quotes - BrainyQuote If you vote and you elect dishonest, incompetent people into office who screw everything up, you are responsible for what they have done. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death. Enjoy! And armbands. To me, authority is something that a freer spirit, a more independent mind, and a person who can handle the world, doesnt need guidance from. window.Mobvious = {}; I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. Your dog thinks you're a god. Its interested in its own power. 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